How long is too long to wait for a drip coffee?
I really don’t know. I’m not a dedicated connoisseur of coffee (I’m partial to craft beer), but somehow 15-20 minutes seems like, I don’t know, a while. 20 minutes is a long time to wait for a single serving coffee when my Mr. Coffee at home cranks out a pot in 2 minutes.
What am I sacrificing by giving 20 minutes of my morning to this diva cup of jo? Or rather, what am I gaining by giving master baristas uninterrupted time to perfect their craft? What exactly are they doing during this timeframe? Will adding milk and sugar be considered a faux-pas? All of these questions ran through my mind as I sat taping my foot on the tasteful marble floor of Blue Bottle Coffee’s newly acquired W.C. Morse building on Broadway & 42nd.
I feel that a disclaimer is necessary here: it was 8am, and I am not a morning person, so this must be factored into any impatience I experienced during the incident. However, this is also a space that toes the line between good old oaklanders just trying enjoy a decent cup of coffee before they’re subjected to a day of office swill, and tactfully maneuvered extreme pretense. All my observations of the highly esteemed Blue Bottle Coffee, and W.C. Morse location in particular, begs the question, “excessive or impressive?”
Let’s take a look at the facts.
1. The W.C. Morse building is gorgeous. No getting around that one. The huge open floor plan allows for ample seating and enough space to build camaraderie with your fellow coffee drinkers at a comfortable, “it’s flu season stay away,” distance. Layout is simple and clean with marble tile floors, wooden high boy tables, and high ceilings that echo cozy coffee shop tunes. It’s pleasant. Survey says: Impressive.
2. There is an espresso repair shop. Which I’m sure has had at least one customer… But really, a $20 diagnostic fee with a $65 per hour charge? This seems like a bit much. If this is a legitimate business I have clearly chosen the wrong career path. I’ve also frequented this particular location on more than one occasion, and there has never actually been anyone there. How often to espresso machines break? Maybe it’s a museum… We may never know. Point goes to: Excessive.
3. The baristas are attractive and highly intimidating. What does one do when faced with a 6′ something slenderly fit man in pressed vintage garb that somehow matches the decor and also has perfectly groomed facial hair and a british accent? I… I don’t… Am I blushing? And now I’m not sure what to order because the coffee menu is long, and everything seems the same and completely different all at once, and I feel like my questions draw looks of distain from the steamy barista (you’re not worthy). Moving on to the pastries, easy, I want a waffle. But what’s this? Another 6′ something gentleman who also matches the building and has a sexy manbun (it’s a thing), and does not speak, only smiles coyly? Very, very flustered. Alas, I must admit this frazzle-effect is mostly my fault. Overall the service is excellent. Two on the board for: Impressive.
4. 20 minutes for a drip coffee. I haven’t forgotten, nor should you. I get it, a slow drip process is slow. But honestly, how slow? Joey and Susie and Bobby have all received their coffees and waffles, and they were all behind me in line. Why is it necessary for only my coffee to go through the giant fancy glass drip coffee contraption at glacial speeds? I’m certain it will be cold by the time it even finishes making it’s way to my cup. 20 minutes I kid you not: Excessive.
5. When I finally received my slightly expensive, extremely slowly brewed coffee it was… Incredible. Hot damn I did not know coffee could taste that good. Milk and sugar would be blasphemous. What do I have to do to acquire one of those glorious giant drip coffee makers? I wish I had an espresso machine to break just so I could spend more time here.
Okay Blue Bottle Coffee, you are worth the wait:
Impressive.
Oakland Whispers 